Wedding planning is a stressful task on its own – between deciding on your aesthetic & decor to researching and hiring the right vendor team – it can be a daunting task. Then when you add in pressures from family and friends, it can feel overwhelming to say the least!
We are here to help with a few tips and tricks we have picked up along the way to help you reduce the stress coming from friends and family during the wedding planning process.
Set Boundaries
We all need them, especially when it comes to family. Is your mom driving you up a wall with questions about the wedding? Does your soon to be sister in law keep giving unsolicited advice? We have been there! Here are a few ways to set boundaries around discussing wedding plans with your fam:
“We are taking a little break from wedding planning right now, but thanks for asking!” Then promptly change the subject to something about the other person. You get to set the rules about when and how much you discuss wedding planning.
“Thank you so much for your advice! We will definitely consider that when making our decision.” You don’t have to consider any advice anyone gives. But this little quip usually gets them to move on from the conversation faster – whether you actually cared about their advice or not.
“We are excited to do this on our own and plan an event that reflects our relationship.” You are planning a wedding for YOU. Not your mother-in-law.
Don’t have an answer to their question? No problem, point to your planner. “Our wedding planner is handling all of that for us! We are so glad to have their help and guidance.”
Be Cautious of Finances
Who is contributing to your overall wedding budget? If parents are involved, warding off their opinions can be hard if they are footing the bill. Here are some things to consider:
- Is their gift without strings attached? If they give you the option to pay for your wedding with the unwritten rule that anything they say goes – maybe it’s worth not taking the money at all.
- How will you make decisions? Do you and your partner need to run every choice by the financier or do you have freedom to decide what you like best?
- Keep a detailed budget spreadsheet so everyone can see what is going on at all times. (PS – we include a custom budget spreadsheet for planning clients that you can share with anyone involved!)
Pick a Calm Wedding Party
You would not believe the amount of couples we work with that complain to us about their wedding party members stressing them out or being to much to handle. When you first get engaged, it can be easy to rush into choosing who will stand by your side at the altar. But remember – these people are involved throughout the entire wedding planning process. Choosing what they will wear, attending pre-wedding festivities, spending the night with you before the big day, and spending all morning with you in close quarters while getting ready. You are getting a lot of facetime with these people.
Our advice?
- Keep the list small. When is the last time you talked to them?
- Pick people who won’t stress you out.
- Pick friends who are responsible and will do what you ask!
Dealing with People, in General
As soon as you get engaged, all of your acquaintances seem to think they are making the invite list. Or, random people will start to tell you horror stories about their wedding or a wedding they attended. All wholly unhelpful, but it happens nonetheless! Here are some tips for people who assume they are invited and/or tell you crazy wedding stories:
- Blame it on your venue. “I wish we could invite everyone! Unfortunately our venue only has a capacity of X people and we are having to keep the guest list tight.”
- Laugh it off. They don’t need to know you already made the guest list and they aren’t on it! “We are just getting started planning but are so excited about the day!”
- Point to your planner. “Wow, what a crazy story! Luckily we have an incredible wedding planner who is going to make sure everything runs smoothly.”
We promise, you can do this! Most of the time, your friends and family just want to help. Find ways to keep yourself calm and give eager hands small tasks to unload them from your plate!
Happy planning,
Shelby Kirchner
Owner & Head Planner
Plan On It Events & Design
info@infoplanonitatx.com
Still feel like wedding planning is too much to handle? We’ve got you covered! We know the pressures that planning your wedding can produce. That’s why, at Plan On It Events & Design, we take on the responsibilities with organization and clarity so you can experience less stress. Put it all on us so you can enjoy the planning process and the wedding that you’re throwing!
Contact us today so we can help you get planning started the right way.
